Canadian Handshake

You've farted on people 100 times.

Daddy Issues

You befriended your father.

Stick Savior

You defeated Princess Kenny and recovered the Stick of Truth.

Outpatient

You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.

Face Hoff

You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.

Make it Rain!

You've spent $500.

Chinpokolypse

You collected all of the Chinpokomon.

Friends in Strange Places

You befriended both crab people and gnomes.

Shopaholic

You have collected half of the available costume sets.

Avenger

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

Elven Hero

You defeated the Grand Wizard Cartman in battle.

More Popular Than Jesus

You made friends with half of South Park.

Nonconformist

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

Parkeologist

You opened all of the garages in South Park.

Made This for You

You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.

Are We Cool?

You found Jesus while playing as a Jew.

Chinpoko loco

You collected 15 Chinpokomon.

First Day in South Park

You completed your first day in South Park.

New Kid On The Block

You have joined the KKK.

Irritable Bowels

You shat your pants during a boss battle.

Stay Down

You farted on 10 enemies in the world that were knocked out.

Weapon Proficiency

Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.

Mastery

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

Skilled Defender

Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.

Shutout

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.

Poco Chinpoko

You collected 5 Chinpokomon.

Acceptance

You accepted your fate and chose the name Douchebag yourself.