I talked to Amy. For like an hour. Today was a good day. :)

Earn all other trophies in the game.

Wait, text?!? Ok so I'm 100% sure I've lost my damn testicles. I need to just TALK to her! I need to be @&!%ing brave.

Get two characters to Level 15 and complete all of those characters' missions.

Damn, I need to get some more songs on my phone. So tired of 'FEVER DREAMING'. I like it, but man I'm sick of it.

Get 600 kills.

That's totally stupid and not happening. No one wants a game that looks like my art.

Get one character to Level 15 and complete all of that character's missions.

Like those guys from the band on Mark's punk rock bootlegs. They have NO fear! I need to be like them!

Solve all of the Sphinx's riddles.

Why's he think we all want to go to college? Decades of student loan debt plus four more years in a classroom? No thanks.

Get 50 kills with 3 different characters.

Not that I have any money to get new music, though. Hell, maybe I COULD wear that stupid Viking hat.

Play and finish 50 matches.

I MIGHT. I mean, I may want to go. But maybe not. Who says that's the ONLY way to get where you're going?!

Get 50 kills with The Hand.

I was stammering and sweating and stuttering and just standing there. I have GOT to stop being such a dork around her.

Reach floor 15 of a ranked tower.

Maybe she just feels sorry for me. Or maybe she's smiling at someone behind me?

Use all Alientown warps — including secret warps — in one match!

Amy keeps looking at me and smiling. That's weird. I mean it's cool. But it's weird.

Discover The Lost in Shooting Gallery!

I wonder if she likes me. How amazing would THAT be?

Destroy three moon rocks in Shooting Gallery!

Okay, so I just slammed into Amy in the hall and it's official: I need to man the hell up!

Get 1st place in 25 matches.

Hooper's talking about college. Again. "So what are your plans for college, kids?" It's like everyday with this guy.

Get 100 kills.

Actually, that would make me like her more. And to be clear, what I mean is, if she IS a little weird, I'd like that.

The Emperor (or at least his face) will SMASH you!

Maybe I'll go work at Viking Burger just to annoy him. But I really don't want to wear one of those Viking Horn Hats.

Play and finish 20 matches.

Nope — there's just a poster of Abraham Lincoln behind me. She could be smiling at the poster, I guess? That'd be so weird.

Discover granny's terrible secret!

I wasn't saying I'd like her more if she wanted to get with Abe Lincoln. That'd be super gross cuz he’s dead. And very tall.

Anger an alien, kill an enemy!

Maybe I'll say I need to go to the bathroom.

Deposit 10 hearts in a Organ Donor match.

When we collided she did get some of her homework mixed in with mine. So, I DO have a valid reason to text her now.

Win a match of Organ Donor with a single deposit.

Oh @&!%, did I brush my teeth today?!?

Get 50 kills.

Or maybe I'm just bored. I think that's it — I'm bored.

Play and finish 10 matches.

I wonder if I could get a job making art. Like after high school. I'd so love to make art for video games!

Get 1st place in 7 matches.

Not that I have ANY idea where I'm going. Alan says I need to come work at Magic Mouse this summer. Uhm, HELL no.

Do 3000 points of damage with special attacks.

But I mean, why wouldn't I be? This class sucks so bad.

Get 1st place in a match.

I'm getting hungry.

Get a kill with The Hand.

I hate my stupid stepdad.

Get your first kill.

Then I'll just hide in a stall and watch videos till class ends.

Complete Training.